"When a relationship is going well, and I feel connected to someone, I'm most definitely a person who shows my comfort and admiration for my significant other through physical actions"

Ok, so...

First, my apologies for taking so long to write. I have been back from my trip for a few days now, but I had some things to deal with in my personal, unwritten about, life. Now that things are sorted out...I'm back!

Have you ever heard of love languages? And yes, I know what you are going to say. "Really, Jenn? Really? You are writing about THIS?" I would have to agree in saying that this isn't really my usual kind of natter...The whole idea is a little bit fruitier than I like to be, but at the same time, I think it has some real validity.

The 5 love languages ( as stated on the love languages website - no infringement intended) are:

• Words of Affirmation

  Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Quality Time

  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

• Receiving Gifts

  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

• Acts of Service

  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

• Physical Touch

  This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
  
  

For fun, even though I was pretty sure that I already knew what my main love language was anyway, I took the quiz on the website to see what it was. The results actually ended up surprising me somewhat - I am evenly split between two categories - one that I expected and one that did not. The first, Physical Touch, was no surprise to me. While it may not show in my day to day general relationships with family and friends, I'm actually extremely affectionate with a boyfriend. When a relationship is going well, and I feel connected to someone, I'm most definitely a person who shows my comfort and admiration for my significant other through physical actions. I'm a cuddler - I admit it, and I'm sure that anyone who bothers to read my blog, even once in awhile, knows that I consider sex to be an extremely important factor in a relationship. It's also, by far, the hardest of these 5 to fake. It's easy enough to fall into a routine of buying gifts for birthdays, date nights, spring cleaning, and saying I love you because it's what you do every day...but sex, cuddling, and any reason to touch someone? All of those physical actions fall away when you don't feel the same way about a person anymore! It's the first sign that something is wrong! Sex is extremely important to the health and the well being of a relationship, and frankly, these things are the first thing to go when the connection between two people has lost it's spark. It can be caused by the loss of physical attraction, or an increase in arguments, comfort? Regardless, there is no denying the sex is one of the first things to go in a romance when things are on the rocks. So, because affectionate behaviour is frequently the first thing to go, it is something that is imperative to the success of a relationship for me.

Now, my second love language -  the one that was tied with Physical Touch - is Quality Time. I admit that I was somewhat surprised to see that come up. I'm not denying the importance of spending time together in any way, but I didn't realize that it was as important to me as Physical Touch...at first. Honestly, after reading the results, and then thinking about the relationship that I'm in right now? It makes complete and total sense. We are struggling with finding enough time to be together because of the distance between us, and I admit that it is something that really bums me out. Everything is going really well, but there is no denying that enough Quality Time with someone is crucial to the growth of a relationship. This has brought on the incorporation of Skype into our relationship to help with the distance...so I guess Quality Time really is important to me after all?

So folks? What is your love language? Take the quiz and post your results! Let me know why you think those things are most important to you, and feel free to post anonymously if this all feels too personal for you! I would love to see what all of your love languages are!!


In the mood for love,

 - Jenn

EDIT: Listen you bums, I know how many people have read this! I check my stats! Post a comment!! You don't even have to do the quiz? Just rank them in order from 1 to 5. Sheesh!