"I've always wanted to cheat. It's kind of on my bucket list."

Ok, so...

This blog, an effort that has been encouraged by many because I apparently tend to say clever things once in awhile, has been a thorn in my side because I didn't know where start. I've been trying to come up with something riveting to write about...pretty much to no avail, when I suddenly had an epiphany. I realized that the shit that has happened in my personal life as of late is about as funny as it gets. So, allow me to indulge you in what occurred about two weeks ago.

I'd been talking to a co-worker from the summer for just a few days - he will remain nameless, for his safety, and frankly...for my own as well. When/if he sees this, I am dead...so know that I am fully going down in flames for all of you! Anyway, when I left my job at the end of August to return to school, I opened my mouth and said something I probably shouldn't have. I told him that "if things didn't work out with his girlfriend, he should look me up." No harm, no foul right? WRONG!!! A word to the wise folks...if you question, even for a moment, whether or not something is right to say? Stop! Stop right then and shut your damn mouth, cause it isn't. Seriously. Count that as my first salient piece of advice to be featured in this blog because I have made that mistake more times then I will ever be able to recall and the mess has never, ever been easy to clean up. But I digress...the point of this story is not to relay my stupidity (there will be plenty of opportunities for that...believe me), it is to relay his.

Anyway, the conversations we engaged in took a little less than a kosher turn - I can admit that I was fully enamored by the attention. Stop rolling you eyes - don't even think for a second that you wouldn't be either. Guy or girl, attention from an attractive member of the opposite sex (or the same - no judgement here) is always enjoyed, even if not entirely wanted or warranted. That is salient piece of advice #2 by the way...we're all animals at heart. Anyway, eventually our heated exchanges resulted in this: "I've always kind of wanted to cheat. It's kind of on my bucket list." Erm, I'm sorry. What was that? What did you just say there? Did you say it was on your BUCKET LIST?? Your BUCKET LIST! I'm sorry, but I don't think that was what Academy Award winners Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson had in mind when they created their wish list of things to do "before they kicked the bucket" in the dramedy of the same name.

Now, I consider myself a realist and a fairly liberal person at heart. However, I also think that this rather relaxed approach to life and my choice to deal with things this way puts me in the minority. This part of my personality is something that he was very aware of, and was even once stated as one of the things he liked best about me...but c'mon. C'mon. Really? That is what you say to a woman you are trying to bag? I'm pretty sure that would have made most women turn their noses up in disgust and peace out...you know, a-town-down and all that. For me, it didn't. But I was surprised - I can admit that. Gentleman (and I hope to have a few of you following me at some point), if you want to cheat on your current woman with the fox you met at the bar last night, or last week, last month...whatever...do NOT voice it as being part of your $&#%ing Bucket List. Or forever consider that a chastity belt has been locked over your genitals, because shawty ain't never gonna touch your junk with a ten-foot poll.

So, that's it. Of course, the story goes on but not in a way that is either eventful or interesting enough to write about any further. Just remember, when you want to do something that would be considered as less than "amenable" with/to someone else, don't announce it as part of your freakin' Bucket List.

Keep on rockin' in the free world,

- Jenn