"However, because he is a friend that I value, when he asked, I told the truth. 'Yes, I have liked you for awhile, and yeah, I'm completely serious.' "

Ok, so..

I have managed to go ahead and do something incredibly stupid...yet, again. Sometimes, people ask you a question and you just decide to tell the truth because, you know, it's now or never. I did this. I did this because he asked, and I didn't want to lie. I had been wondering whether or not I should say anything and I had been thinking about mentioning it, but he was going through a rough patch with a new girlfriend and now didn't seem like the time. However, because he is a friend that I value, when he asked, I told the truth. "Yes, I have liked you for awhile, and yeah, I'm completely serious." At first, he seemed to take it perfectly well - the reaction was actually better than I expected, and maybe even a little on the good side...and I was happy about that.  I wasn't asking for anything in return. I want him to be happy and for that to happen in whatever capacity it needs too.

However, as things often do, this exploded in my face. I regret having said anything because the after-effects aren't worth the honesty. He's become upset with me, or upset with what I said...or something. Whatever it is, I feel absolutely terrible about it. So bad, that I cried this morning...and I don't cry. I honestly, truly wish I would have never said anything rather than have had it put a riff the size of Asia in our friendship...and that is what I think has happened. You know how people always say that honesty is the best policy? Well, I'm having a really hard time believing that right now.

So, on the off chance that he may ever read this...I'm really sorry. I never meant to cause any harm. You're a wonderful guy and a great friend, and I hope we come out somewhat normal (and I say somewhat because neither of us are really normal in the first place) on the other side of this whole thing.

I am really, truly, sorry.

In my own forum,

 - Jenn