"Didn't you ever notice, ironically enough, that we only lament about how we miss that butterfly feeling when we AREN'T feeling it?

Ok, so...

You know something? Embarking on a new "relationship" is scary. I call it a "relationship" because no one ever really knows if that is what it is going to turn into. I don't even know if I think it is a good idea (it breaks several of my salient pieces of advice, but this is common for me - others learn from me, yet I never do). And you know, there are many people who say that the feeling of "butterflies in your stomach", or that anxiety you get right before you meet up with a new "prospect" is exciting and exhilirating - even I would probably say this at times - but all those people, including me, are completely insane. Didn't you ever notice, ironically enough, that we only lament about how we miss that butterfly feeling when we AREN'T feeling it? And conversely, when we are feeling it we'd rather be feeling anything else.

There are plenty of times where we begin seeing someone new and we think that this may be our next (or first?) serious relationship. Everything seems to be falling into place just so. You really like this person and think, oh yeah, this is totally not like all the irresponsilble flings I've had (or is that just me who does that?). There is something special, something different here. Yet so often, it doesn't turn out like that. Heck, this blog is a good example of how things regularly don't work out like that. In the almost three months that I've been writing here, (can you believe it's been three months? I can't. Time flies.) I've written about countless hilarious, painful, and embarrassing situations that I have been in, and ALL of them have not panned out. I've spent these last three months being quite single, and may perhaps spend the next three in that exact same position...or not? I guess only time will tell - something I'm amazingly fine with for one reason or another. Either way, I don't know who decided that starting a new "relationship" was exciting! They just deserve a good clock in the face because it's stressful and weighs on you as you try and decide what comes next, and essentially, whether or not what happens next should be anything at all.

From my bed at quarter to 2,

- Jenn