" It's all about finding that proportionate balance where both parties are comfortable in the arrangement and are getting something that suffices both of their needs without being too much, or not enough. "

Ok, so...

"Ladies and the bat-shit crazies."

I've coined this term in an effort to label something that I like to think that all of us fine female fatales succumb to at one point or another in our attempts to get something "new" off the ground. You know, when you whine about all your little insecurities to your girlfriends instead of the guy you're seeing? That way he doesn't know how bat shit crazy you are...only they do (if you don't do this, you need too. It's your saving grace).  I honestly can't think of one friend of mine who hasn't been a "lady with the bat-shit crazies" at one point or another. That is not to say that some of them do not handle it much more eloquently than others. They do, and most of them will continue to do so much more successfully than I. When a relationship is new, and you don't know everything there is to know about the other person or how they operate when they are exclusive with someone, it is hard not to take an extreme approach to something when it isn't going exactly how you thought it would.

Actually, this is an area where most men and women differ significantly. Most women come into a new relationship with the expectation of communicating often, maybe even a little too much, while their wonderful, new significant other falls short in this category (at least in comparison to expectations). It's all about finding that proportionate balance where both parties are comfortable in the arrangement and are getting something that suffices both of their needs without being too much, or not enough. Communication is the common denominator in almost any challenge in any relationship. Most problems, no matter how insignificant, stem from this. In fact, I would challenge you to come up with a problem that you have ever had in any of your relationships that was not, some how, linked to poor communication. I guarantee you that it will be pretty hard to do.

Either way, this is salient piece of advice #9: Communication is key. Friendships and relationships alike will blow up in your face if you don't take time out to say how you're feeling, or even more importantly, ask how the other person is feeling.


Because it needed to be said,

 - Jenn